[Harumasa sees how Maxima fiddles with his glasses during the more emotional parts of his story. He wonders if they're perhaps one of the only remaining mementos of his parents. He won't ask, of course. That wouldn't be appropriate.
He also notices Jun tackling the sense of duty, which leaves the archer with the political aspect. Not that Harumasa can blame him. Between the two, Harumasa's always been the one who dealt with that more. Hell, he understood the politics behind certain scientists in Krusnik and used that to his advantage many times in the past.
So... Harumasa considers this angle instead.]
Sisyphean, more like.
[The archer sighs softly.]
They're proud, foolish, and dangerously naive about their neighboring countries. They've spent a long time teaching their children to hate and fear people they don't know. Some from the provinces probably taught their kids to hate their own countrymen. Those are wounds that the Empire intentionally caused its own people to make them wholly reliant on the status quo. You probably won't see those wounds heal in your lifetime.
But... there has to come a point, no matter when it is, that you have to trust enough of those foolish people to fall and get back up again a changed person. Some will change for the worse, some will stay the same, but... maybe enough of them will change for the better that they'll bleed like you did to make sure the foundation is strong and more like the vision you have.
Going back to them might mean that you become a leader they look towards. Or it might mean that you're forced to watch. After all, everyone has a slightly different vision in mind when they think of a new Garlemald, right?
[Harumasa pauses.]
Ultimately, I think you have to look at yourself and ask where you'd be happier. You've done and sacrificed more than anyone could ask in the name of seeing your country through its darkest days. I think it's okay if you decide that you've done enough and want to stay here to figure out the rest of your life. Not for the sake of other people, but for yourself.
You're not the first ones to say so, in recent months. That I've done enough, that I shouldn't need to give more than I have.
[Maxima smiles at them ruefully, the bitterness easing away.]
The truth is, I do want to see my home get better. Even though it will take the rest of my life, even though I'll spend my life holding people's hands as they learn to walk while I've been running for years... I want to be able to look back and say that everything we did was worth it. That it meant something. That the brighter future we always dreamed of was possible, and have the pride of proving it.
[He looks around the office again, at the slow accumulation of files and books and knickknacks on the shelves. His gaze lingers just a little too long on the set of plushies Harumasa gave him for Christmas, and he refocuses before that can distract him too much.]
...But...this world is so much kinder. I can be at home here, I can lead a comfortable life, surrounded by good people who care for me and for one another. ...I think anyone would be tempted to stay.
It's because it's true. Committing oneself to a cause is noble, but it's extremely difficult too. I think anyone should have the chance to step away, should they find something else precious in their lives. Even someone like me is always trying to have a balance between being Shroud the knight, and Jun the human with a life far away from all that.
[It's not always an easy thing to balance out, but... Jun cherishes getting the chance to be a person rather than only a knight]
Ultimately, the choice is up to yours. I'll respect whatever you chose... so long as it's the choice you truly want.
[He shrugs]
Though, it's not like it's a choice that needs to be made today. It's not like we have a reliable way to travel to other worlds.
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no subject
He also notices Jun tackling the sense of duty, which leaves the archer with the political aspect. Not that Harumasa can blame him. Between the two, Harumasa's always been the one who dealt with that more. Hell, he understood the politics behind certain scientists in Krusnik and used that to his advantage many times in the past.
So... Harumasa considers this angle instead.]
Sisyphean, more like.
[The archer sighs softly.]
They're proud, foolish, and dangerously naive about their neighboring countries. They've spent a long time teaching their children to hate and fear people they don't know. Some from the provinces probably taught their kids to hate their own countrymen. Those are wounds that the Empire intentionally caused its own people to make them wholly reliant on the status quo. You probably won't see those wounds heal in your lifetime.
But... there has to come a point, no matter when it is, that you have to trust enough of those foolish people to fall and get back up again a changed person. Some will change for the worse, some will stay the same, but... maybe enough of them will change for the better that they'll bleed like you did to make sure the foundation is strong and more like the vision you have.
Going back to them might mean that you become a leader they look towards. Or it might mean that you're forced to watch. After all, everyone has a slightly different vision in mind when they think of a new Garlemald, right?
[Harumasa pauses.]
Ultimately, I think you have to look at yourself and ask where you'd be happier. You've done and sacrificed more than anyone could ask in the name of seeing your country through its darkest days. I think it's okay if you decide that you've done enough and want to stay here to figure out the rest of your life. Not for the sake of other people, but for yourself.
no subject
[Maxima smiles at them ruefully, the bitterness easing away.]
The truth is, I do want to see my home get better. Even though it will take the rest of my life, even though I'll spend my life holding people's hands as they learn to walk while I've been running for years... I want to be able to look back and say that everything we did was worth it. That it meant something. That the brighter future we always dreamed of was possible, and have the pride of proving it.
[He looks around the office again, at the slow accumulation of files and books and knickknacks on the shelves. His gaze lingers just a little too long on the set of plushies Harumasa gave him for Christmas, and he refocuses before that can distract him too much.]
...But...this world is so much kinder. I can be at home here, I can lead a comfortable life, surrounded by good people who care for me and for one another. ...I think anyone would be tempted to stay.
no subject
[It's not always an easy thing to balance out, but... Jun cherishes getting the chance to be a person rather than only a knight]
Ultimately, the choice is up to yours. I'll respect whatever you chose... so long as it's the choice you truly want.
[He shrugs]
Though, it's not like it's a choice that needs to be made today. It's not like we have a reliable way to travel to other worlds.